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I can't believe my Lil Man will be 3 weeks old tomorrow! I feel like I've missed out on so much. He still seems so small, still wearing newborn clothing and newborn size diapers. At 3 weeks old Lil D was already starting to wear 3-6 months size clothing and size 2 diapers. Now she's wearing 2T clothing and size 5 diapers, and she's only 15 months old!

Today we went looking at some apartments, some close to Shawn's job and some not. We found one we like that is less than a mile from his job. We're gonna go check the inside of it out tomorrow. It's in our price range, 3 bedroom, 2 baths, and best of all it's all on one floor! We've pretty much decided that if we like it we're gonna go ahead and get it. It'll save Shawn gas money, and best of all his commute to work is a few minutes so he'll have more time to spend with his family! Not to mention that he can actually come home for his lunch break and not get fast food. That'll save money I the back and keep the fat off of his stomach, and give me some cooking practice. I'm really hoping we'll like the inside if it!

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One week home

As of today Lil Man Warren has been home for one whole week! It's been an awesome week too! The first couple of days were difficult trying to figure everything out, but since then we've been able to pretty much have a schedule in our lives. I've learned how to get my shower in the morning, how to play with Lil D even if Lil Man is awake, bath time at night, bed time, and both babies going to sleep in their own beds at night.

Lil D adores her little brother, you can see it in her eyes. She's pretty good to him for the most part, every now and then she is a little rough with him but I don't think it's on purpose. He just checks her out whenever she is close enough to his face.

Shawn hasn't gotten to spend as much time with Lil Man as I would like him too but that's mainly due to him working now. He has the next two days off so he'll get some time with him.

I'm so glad that we're together as a family now. Those two weeks Lil Man was in NICU were very hard and very trying. My mind was mesing with me some and playing on my emotions. I felt horrible for always leaving Lil D, and I felt horrible when I had to leave Lil Man. A mom should never have to leave her newborn baby in the hospital! I was robbed of his first two weeks and I still feel like I'm catching up on them. There are not enough hours in the day for me to hold and cuddle with him to get those two weeks back. I know he needed to be where he was at, but he also needed his mom with him. My greatest fear is that he'll get sick again and have to go back into the hospital. I couldn't take it again! He just needs to stay healthy and star home with his family where he belongs!

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One last goodbye

I didn't get to spend the night with my son tonight. They have 5 babies being discharged from NICU tomorrow and only 3 mother and baby rooms. So they had to pick the two most qualified parents to not stay the night, I of course being one of those parents. I'm sure us having a 14 month old daughter has a lot to do with it since she's basically a baby still and that I'm pretty active in his care during the time I'm up there visiting with him. I guess I should good that they think that highly of my mothering skills but I feel robbed out of spending time with my son. I truly thought yesterday was my last goodbye, it hurt like hell tonight when I had to say goodbye to him yet again! I have no idea how my heart has made it through this whole ordeal. I wouldn't wish this experience on my worst enemy! I wish no mother or father had go to through NICU experiences. But I'm thankful there is a NICU to care for babies like Warren and babies worse off than him.

Bring on the sleepless nights! I'm ready for them! Tonight is my
Last night of sleeping pills, nights are rather hard to clear my mind with Warren away so I needed some help to get some sleep. But after tonight, no more pills, just cuddle time with my son!

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Robbed of cuddling time.

Tonight is my last night sleeping in our home without our son. The next time I lay down in our bed our son will be sleeping in his crib at home where he belongs! I feel like I've been robbed of his first two weeks of life. All that cuddling time I never got to do. I can barely remember the detail that dayhe was born cause of everything that happened. I know I got to hold him for about a minute before the NICU doctor showed up and whisked him off to NICU. Shawn didn't get to hold him tip he was three days old, that was the next time I got to hold him as well. And even then it was for a very short amount of time due to him having trouble breathing. Once he's home I'm gonna have a hard time putting him down or letting someone else hold him. I do know I need to have him sleep in his own area and not on me or anyone else. Or we'll be starting the and bad habits we did with Dominique. And we don't want to do that!

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Less than 48 hours, but who's counting!

Well today is hopefully my last goodbye to Warren! I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight, I'll be so excited to bring him home! Tomorrow I'll be rewashing all of his sheets and blankets in a mild detergent since he has sensitive skin. Eventually we'll start using Tide on his stuff just like ours, until then Ivory it is.

I just watched an infant CPR video, one of the requirements to bring him home, even had to show the nurses what I learned by demostrating it on a doll. Another requirement for us in order for Warren to be discharged was to bathe him. So here he is, 10 days old and I finally got to give him a bath and wash his hair. It was a little tricky since he still has an IV in his arm. But we managed. Now if only all the sticky stuff would come out of his hair from when the IV was in his head!

Today is Shawn's Friday at work so he'll be home for the next two days! Then he goes back for two days of work and then has a three day weekend! Doubt we'll go anywhere, we'll just spend time as a family, a family of 4! We'll be spending a lot of time at home the first couple of months so that Warren doesn't come into contact with any bugs or viruses. We are not repeating our NICU stay or trying out a PICU stay!

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Ready for the new normal!

Here I am with my son laying on my chest, he couldn't be more content. You can tell he needed some mommy time like this. Now if only his daddy and big siste were here I'd be more content. But I'll settle for this for the next few days.

Shawn's next day off is Monday, so it's going to be a long weekend. I can either spend my days at the hospital or spend then with Lil DD. Come Monday night I'm supposed to room in with Warren and take him home the next day. I wish Shawn could room in with us too but he's gotta stay with Lil D. But he'll be picking us up on Tuesday as soon as Warren's last treatment is done.

I miss my husband more than I realized. I'm so used to having him around everyday. Now that he's started working I've got to share him with Butler County Jail. Out of 14 days he's home 7, but those days he's at work are long ones, 12 hours long, so we don't get to see each other much. I'm sure I'll get used to it, it is just re first week.

Maybe my hormones arejust going crazy, but this has been a tough last several days. Shawn started his new job, our son joined the world, been spending my days away from Lil D (first time I've done that since the beginning of August), spending by days in NICU waiting to bring home our son, and yeah, also hormones. I'm ready for things to get back to normal, I know we have a new normal coming our way, but it's got to be better than this.

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Another night apart

Well tonight is the second night of having to leave Lil Man in NICU while the family is at home. I really wish I could bring him home! It's like a piece of me is gone, it's staying there with him so he always has mommy around him. I spent about 8 hours with him today, from 10am til 6pm. I hated leaving him but I loved the time we had together. I held him a majority of that time, gave him 3 bottles, changed 2 diapers, and gave him numerous kisses!

Warren will be staying at the hospital for a lil while. I was told by the doctor today that he is on a 10 course of treatment with antibiotics. So that means around the middle of next week or so he'll get to come home. Not what I wanted to hear! I do want my son coming home healthy, but I just also want him home with us where he belongs!

I sleep next to an empty crib. His coming home outfit is in it waiting to be worn by our special lil man.

I do have good news, Gris no longeron a constant IV drop. He still has an IV in his arm but it's only hooked up to somethnig when he is receiving his antibiotics. They also took the tube out of his nose which was going to his stomach since he is now disgesting most of his bottles. He is also up to 50cc of formula! That's just about what they want him at for every feeding. That's about 1 1/2 ounces. Another improvement is they put him in an open crib. The kind they put the babies in when they room with their mother after delivery. So no more scary looking hospital bed for him.

The doctors have no idea what caused his infection, they don't even know what kind of infection he has. All they know is he is responding to the treatment they are giving him. It's not unusual for a c-section baby to have fluids in IRS lungs, it is unusual for them to get an infection from the fluid, and they said even more unusual to have some unknown infection. But as long as he's responding to treatment is all I care about! I love you Lil Man, come home soon!!!

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